Archive for February, 2010

Are You Listening Microsoft?

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

When they finally get the Windows spoken interface packaged for general distribution, I think I’m going to get the Jamaican Male voice.  There’s something calming and easy-going about the voice – the perfect antidote to our faster, faster, in-demand world.

Me: Hey, Mon.

Computer: Yea.  Wat a gwan my yuut?

Me: Look, I just sliced into my finger with a knife cutting a bagel.  I need directions to the nearest open emergency room.

Computer: Lawd, mi gad.  Let me get it fe yuh.  It da 10 minutes away.  I’m sending the directions to my bredda GPS in your car. Arright?

Me: Good, look I’ll need you to…

Computer: Hold on.  Webmd sa keep yu finger elevated and tie-it-up wit a piece of clath?

Me: Yea, I’m ok.  I’m going to need you to send …

Computer: Mak mi tell ya sumtin, 65 percen people cut their finger off while aeat breakfast.  Look here now, Williams-Sonoma has a bagel cutter fe $25.99.  How bout I arder it fer yu?.

Me: Yeah… No… Maybe… I don’t know, can this wait Mon?

Computer: Hold Tight, Mon.  Everyting copasetic an mats.  I just found another one on e-bay, can I put a bid in…

Me: Mon! Stop with the bagel cutters, I’m outta here.  Send my wife a text message telling her where I’m going.  Where’s my phone?

Computer: Bredda Phone saying its dark where he is.  Maybe he’s in your other pants, Mon?  Mek mi take picture.

Me: No!  No more pocket pictures.  I got it, thanks.  Send the hospital notice that I’m on my way and a copy my insurance info.  I hate waiting.

Computer: Aright.  Mi tak care of that a’ready.  Gwaan man.  By the way, can the Computer Shopping News?

Me: Yeah, yeah, whatever.  Don’t buy anything; you remember what happened last …

Computer: Ya Mon.  Mi member. Mi member. Zeen.

Privacy is Dead – Get Over It.

Friday, February 26th, 2010

You already know that my cat has died.  If you wanted to.  You already know that my wife just purchased a new Toyota because she has a high degree of brand loyalty and they were offering 60 month financing with no interest.  If that was of any interest to you, gentle readers.

But what is of increasing interest to me is our communications in this Web 2.0 world.  There are some very smart people warning that our children’s laissez-faire attitude towards posting inappropriate (for the adult world) content will catch up to them.  I’m dubious.

It’s a shelf-life issue.  It’s a consciousness issue.  It’s just a time issue.  People are spending more time “Amusing Ourselves to Death” that they really don’t have time for research.  I wonder if the college admission staff have enough time to go through every person’s Facebook, MySpace and YouTube entries, let alone find comments on other people’s pages, blogs, newspaper sites.

But my true disagreement comes from the impossibility or impracticality of keeping every byte of the web ever.  Where’s the interest?  Does anyone care what anyone said last year?  Two years ago?

Will anyone ever care what was tweeted at the local high school prom a week after the event?  No.

Will anyone at Twitter consider this information worth keeping a year from now?  No.

Will anyone bother reading this?  I doubt it.  So when I pull it down because I’m bored yet again will these words remain?   No.

Scott McNealy was wrong.  Privacy isn’t dead.  But, it isn’t completely hidden either.  Ask the Hollywood star who can’t even get arrested.  Right out in plain view, no one pays attention.

Privacy is exposed and then soon lost.  After I bring down the Facebook post about the death of my cat, it – like she – becomes a part of history; tiny, insignificant, beautiful, loving and gone.

Annie's Tongue

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Thursday, February 25th, 2010

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